


Sorrowful Heart

by Ultimate_Bilingual



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Expect these kinds of AUs from me often, Future Foundation (Dangan Ronpa), I had fun writing this, Imma keep writing shit like this btw, Komaeda Nagito Needs a Hug, Not Beta Read, Self-Indulgent, The Author Regrets Everything, Why Did I Write This?, but I regret so much, expect a lot of pure self indulgence from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27499555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimate_Bilingual/pseuds/Ultimate_Bilingual
Summary: "He let out a breathy laugh, as he prepared his death. He had to do this, it's his best option. Usami knows what she has to do and so does he.He just hopes it doesn't fail.As he looks at the knife he brought with him, he questions how much it will hurt. If the pain he'll feel will scorch away any of the guilt-filled self-hating thoughts that are bound to come into his mind as he waits for the moment to strike.Maybe it'll sate his heart's thirst for some kind of atonement for his actions. For his weak body and mind that couldn't stop her. It didn't matter what he did, everytime he sees what the world has become, the guilt in his chest weighs even more.He offhandedly wonders if it'll eventually crush his ribs, having them pierce his lungs and finally meet his end; like he should have long ago.And even as the pain coursed through his body. From his thighs to his hand, he doesn't feel any fear. Even as his surroundings grew hot, making him sweat even more -uncomfortable and sticky just for a few moments- he didn't make a peep. Even as his lungs start to burn and his consciousness starts to slip, along with his hold on the spear, he reminds himself who he's doing this for."
Relationships: Hinata Hajime & Komaeda Nagito, Kirigiri Kyoko & Komaeda Nagito, Kirigiri Kyoko & Naegi Makoto, Kirigiri Kyoko & Naegi Makoto & Togami Byakuya, Komaeda Nagito & Everyone, Komaeda Nagito & Naegi Makoto, Komaeda Nagito & Nanami Chiaki, Komaeda Nagito & Togami Byakuya, Naegi Makoto & Togami Byakuya, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Sorrowful Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo, warning:
> 
> Purely Self-indulgent FFA!/Future Foundation Nagito one-shot I wrote.
> 
> Like many things, most of the things I post are not serious fanficts, just self-indulgent writings that I wish to share and hopefully someone gets an idea from them and makes something to feel proud of themselves for.
> 
> I have not finished seeing the entire series because I keep forgetting and just end up reading fanfiction all day, so, yeah..... Please don't hate me.
> 
> Either way, enjoy my hot trash.
> 
> -Coffee Servant

"Goddammit…"

It was a soft whisper, barely audible; mixed in with a harsh breath as ache after painful ache made its way in waves though his chest.

His heart hurt, aches and longed for something. For release, for closure, for warmth and security. For the guilt he harboured to go away.

Guilt of his past actions.

Guilt of his luck cycle.

Guilt of the lives lost.

Guilt for being the damn reason his class had fallen into Despair.

The reason Chiaki, someone who practically was a part of hope itself, broke down and whirled into a vortex of painful regrets and Despair; dragging her classmates down with her without meaning too. 

Without her, she got her chance to break their hope.

His arm twitched yet it felt wrong. His arm was gone and all in its place was a painful reminder of that bitch that caused all of this.

He let out a breathy laugh, as he prepared his death. He had to do this, it's his best option. Usami knows what she has to do and so does he.

He just hopes it doesn't fail.

As he looks at the knife he brought with him, he questions how much it will hurt. If the pain he'll feel will scorch away any of the guilt-filled self-hating thoughts that are bound to come into his mind as he waits for the moment to strike.

Maybe it'll sate his heart's thirst for some kind of atonement for his actions. For his weak body and mind that couldn't stop her. It didn't matter what he did, everytime he sees what the world has become, the guilt in his chest weighs even more.

He offhandedly wonders if it'll eventually crush his ribs, having them pierce his lungs and finally meet his end; like he should have long ago.

And even as the pain coursed through his body. From his thighs to his hand, he doesn't feel any fear. Even as his surroundings grew hot, making him sweat even more -uncomfortable and sticky just for a few moments- he didn't make a peep. Even as his lungs start to burn and his consciousness starts to slip, along with his hold on the spear, he reminds himself who he's doing this for.  
…  
…..  
…….  
………………..  
……………………….

•--• --- -•• •---- ••••• -•• •• ••• -•-• --- -• -• • -•-• - •• -• --• ••-• •-• --- -- -• • --- •-- --- •-• •-•• -•• •--• •-• --- --• •-• •- --

••• - •- -••• •• •--- •• -•• •• -• --• •--• --- -••

••• - •- -••• •• •-•• •• --•• •• -• --• -•-• --- -- •--• •-•• • - •

\--- •--• • -• •• -• --• •--• --- -••  
………..  
…..  
…  
..  
.

-

Pain.

Burning.

A light.

Too bright…

His head hurts. It was pounding as if a million jackhammers were going at it.

Everything ached, even the slightest of movements made his mind reel and twist.

His skin felt warm, too warm, scorching even. It felt like it was about to be burned off of him and leave him a skeleton.

He sensed a body next to him. Helping him up and out… Out of what…?  
.  
.  
.

Oh yeah, what happened. His plan, setting up his death, the warehouse, pain all over and the spear. He's being helped out of his pod…

Why though?

Why so soon?

His death felt as if it happened just a mere seconds ago, and it might have, considering how much pain he's still in.

He now registered a heaviness to his body, more importantly around his abdominal area. Right where the spear would have pierced his skin.

Yet there should be nothing there but pale skin covered by his suit.

He guessed that his mind still thought that he was actually suffering from his injuries despite knowing otherwise.

It was all a simulation after all. Nothing was real. All the deaths and executions didn't happen. His own death and trial that's bound to happen, don't matter since they aren't real.

He was sure eventually, it would all feel like a bad dream. A distant bad dream that felt too real.

He didn't try to question who it was helping him out, instead his mind went back to the questione: why so soon?

The pain felt all too potent, as if he was just taken out of the Neo World right after his death, leaving his avatar there as nothing more than a hollow shell with no consciousness or driver.

For all he knew, he was supposed to be unconscious waiting for that damn game to end and the 'survivors' to get out yet here he was.

This shouldn't be possible, he wasn't supposed to feel such aching and piercing pain if his death was a few hours or so ago.

He must have been brought out as soon as he lost consciousness in the Neo World yet that shouldn't be possible!

.  
.  
.

Unless Naegi…

Naegi must have made his pod different.

He let a small chuckle -dry, tired and pain filled - escape his tin chapped lips as he settled on the answer as to why he was awake. It was his best bet.

Naegi had obvious reasoning to do so, if any of his 'problems' acted up while he was in the Neo World they could get him out without a hitch and help him. Most definitely a safety precaution that they must be using.

Maybe he overdid his death, it was pretty horrendous.

If they left him in the pod after that, maybe he wouldn't make it and just die in his sleep.

It might have happened now that he realized how hard it was to get any Oxygen into his lungs. His chest felt heavy and constricted, his throat was dry and breathing was a chore and then some…

.  
.  
.

Naegi was truly a great leader, he trusted the boy with his life; who didn't at this point?

That boy had so much on his hands, his pure worry for his agents adding to that. He shouldn't worry yet he does. Such a thought gave him a fuzzy feeling before he felt a bitter fascination about it.

Here he was, working alongside others to rebuild the world since it fell into pure Despair. After everything he'd been thought, after everything they've all been though: and here was someone finally worrying over him.

It took the world falling to its knees for him to right himself from the tainted hope that had consumed his decaying mind. It took such a tragedy for him to find a purpose in life better than being 'a stepping stone for hope' that wouldn't make people view him as insane.

It took such a terrible thing for him to have someone to care for. Naegi, Kirigiri, Togami, Yasuhiro, Asahina, Fukawa…

It took such a fucked up situation for him to have some kind of semblance of a family, of friends and of a purpose.

That's so pathetic.

It was so pitiful, yet was he anything short of such a thing?

He was just a useless waste of space. So weak that he couldn't save his own class from Despair. Despair he caused because he's such a-

Okay, stop. Now's not a time for him to be consumed by guilt. He could do that later.

As he let his thoughts wander, since he couldn't focus on anything physical -The world was nothing but a dull blur around him - he started to think back to his plan.

Would it be enough?

Would this grant them the chance they needed?

Was his plan and supposed death the last push they needed to delete that virus that refused to let his old classmates recover from that terrible vicious ugly disease known as Despair?

At this point, he couldn't keep count of all the nights he couldn't rest. From memories, from guilt, or even from work.

Obviously, being in that simulator didn't grant him any more sleep. Damming hell.

He just- he needed to save them.

He couldn't live with himself unless he saved them.

They didn't deserve this, any of this. They didn't deserve the Despair they felt and he needed to help them with the guilt that is bound to come up.

He knows how destructive such thoughts are. They all did. He needed to help them and that was final.

If Lady luck was on his side this time, if she pulls this in their favour, he'll make sure to protect them with all his might afterwards.

He won't let anyone else hurt these kids.

He won't allow it.

He made a promise to himself. That he'd help fix everything. That he'd help his class. That he'd be here for them since they'll need someone in such a time. He became that someone that'll be their grounding, he had Naegi and his team if he ever needs some grounding himself.

He could never ask that of these kids, so Naegi and their team it is.

Naegi. And everyone else…

He smiled slightly - albeit Weak and small as it was- as fatigue and drowsiness started to take a hold of him. Maybe, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to succumb to the desperate desire to sleep.

Just let darkness consume him and his ragging thoughts.

His body was still aching and coursing with pain even if there were no bodily injuries on him. Well, besides the hand that belonged to her (or the other?) that replaced his own hand that was sawed off.

A sound caught his hazy attention. A vibration coming from his side. Flat and strong. What was he hearing?

A voice.

He heard a voice, commanding and shouting. Shuffling all around him, someone else moving to do as they were told.

Nothing was truly clear, the identity of the rest were unknown but the voice sounded familiar.

He looked up, even if it was hard and slightly irritating. His grey-ish and mostly unfocused eyes met with lilac hair accompanied by analyzing and piercing gaze. 

One he knew all too well.

His sight concentrated on a familiar face, something becoming clear for once since his mind started to overload with his thoughts that scattered about carelessly.

Kyoko Kirigiri

He smiled just a bit more, even if it was pathetically weak, up at his co-worker before the black that was dancing at the edge of his sight (just like the bright blood that danced across his sight ever since he woke up at the hospital and in the Neo world, the metallic scent forever engraved into his memory with multiple scenes to accompany the smell he had come to loathe so much) went ahead and consumed his vision.

The pain morphing into a soft dull ache in the back of his mind as his entire world went black and his senses blank.

He truly hoped this would be the last push to saving these kids and starting a complete recovery. 

And if he was honest, that's all he could do.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
____________________________

-•- / ••• --- - •••• •• ••• •• ••• •• - * * * *-

-• / -•-- • ••• - •••• •• ••• •• ••• •• -

-•- / •••• • •••• -•-- --- ••- -•- -• --- •-- •• - ••• ••-• ••- -• -• -•--

-• / •-- •••• •- - •• ••• * * * *-

-•- / • •••- • -• •- ••- - • •-• •- •-•• •-•• - •••• •• ••• •-- --- •-• -•- •-- • •••- • -•• --- -• • • •••- • -• •- ••- - • •-• •-- • ••• •- •••- • - •••• • -- •-- • ••• - •• •-•• •••• •- •••- • •- •-•• --- -• --• •--• •- - •••• •- •••• • •- -•• --- ••- ••- •••

-•/ - •••• •- - ••• - •-• ••- •. •-- • •••- • --- -• •--• -•-- ••• -•-• •-• •- - -•-• •••• • -•• - •••• • ••• ••- •-• ••-• •- -•-• • --- ••-• •-- •••• •- - •-- • -• • • -•• - --- -•• ---

-•-/ -•-- • •- ••• -••• ••- - •-- • •-•• •-•• •••• •- •••- • • •- -•-• •••• --- - •••• • •-• ••• --- •• - •-•• •-•• -••• • •- -•• •• - -•• • •- •-• •- -••• •-•• •

-•/ ••-• •• -• •- •-•• •-•• -•-- ••• - --- •--• •--• • -•• -••• • •• -• •- •--• • ••• ••• •• -- •• ••• - * * * * -

-•-/ --- •••• ••-• ••- -•-• -•- --- ••-• ••-• -• •- • --• ••

-•/ •••• •- •••• •- •••- • •-• -•-- •-- • •-•• •-•• - •••• • -• ... • •• - •••• • •-• •-- •- -•-- •• - ••• - •• -- •

-•-/ •-•• • - ••• -•• --- - •••• •• •••  
_____________________________

The piercing silence(or was it silence? He wasn't sure at this point. There could be sound yet he may not be picking up on it) he was met with was eerie to say the least, yet not unfamiliar. It was so familiar, to the point his eyes forced themselves to open up in a panic.

Grey-ish green eyes were shut tightly yet again as a reaction to the bright light above him. As his mind slowly kick-started again, refusing to be dormant for much longer, his senses returned.

He felt a soft ache at the back of his head and a tingling sensation from his legs. He registered that he was laying down on something that was soft enough and something was covering his torso, besides clothes.

Kirigiri must have put him on a bed to rest. Whatever happened while he was out, He'll have to ask to know. Hours could have passed, the 'survivors' could be out by now, or not if his luck allowed him to be there for when they wake up.

"Look who finally decided to wake up."

He stilled, and blinked (rather dumbly, he was sure of it) as his mind took a second to register the words and voice. A certain irritation and fondness fraught for the front seat of his reaction.

He recognizes that voice, arrogant and cold at times, yet it fit with his logic-driven persona and lack of understanding when it came to emotions. 

He looked to the side, his eyes focusing and taking in the person in front of him. Pale skin, chin-length dirty-blond hair, black suit and a dark green tie with a white undershirt, white glasses, blue-ish orbs with both a harsh coldness and certain spark in them. Slim body with stupidly long legs.

Togami Byakuya.

He wasn't sure what he wanted to do once he recognized the man on the seat besides the bed he laid a pond. Should he sneer at the other, giving a half-hearted 'fuck you' and turn his back at him? Should he give a smile with an eye-roll, giving a half-hearted insult back before just asking about what happened?

He wasn't sure.

Hah, this actually brings up a funny thought. His reaction to his team could vary so much.

From an annoyed or irritated response to care or fondness to said person.

All his teammates had antics that could annoy him, making him grumble while subtly flipping them off yet after not being around said antics for a while, they became a welcomed action, providing him with some familiarity he could fall back on after everything.

"What? Did the pain get to you so much, that you're now gawking at me? How pitiful." Togami scoffed as at the albino. He shifted in his seat to lean closer to the other. 

The albino narrowed his eyes at the Blond before he opened his mouth, ready to insult the man he had jokingly classified as an arachnid.

Nh-

All that came out was a pitiful sound. Like a gasp, a raspy exhale of air that must have been painful. It was a truly pathetic sound, yet it was to be expected after all the lack of use of his vocal chords.

"You really expect to be able to talk after being out for so long? You truly must be inpatient or just lacking the capability to know better for yourself." Togami's eyes narrowed before he moved closer. "Now, move." He signaled as he instructed the albino to lift his head.

Komaeda lifted his head and used his good arm to lean up. Enough so that Togami could easily put the pillows in place before he rested against them, in a slightly leaning sitting position. 'Nagito' turned his head to him yet again, quickly looking towards the blonde's hands.

Togami apparently had a glass of water ready for him, since it was promptly shoved in his face with the indication to down it, even if all that came out of the other man's mouth was 'drink.', not that he was expecting much chatter from him either way.

As he looked at the glass of clear cold water, he realized just how dry his throat felt. He used his good arm to push himself a bit up and then sit more-properly against the pillows. Not acknowledging the difficulty of the task and ignoring the way his muscles screamed at him.

He slowly reached over with a shaky hand (was he really trembling that much? His muscles were spamming in his biceps and he hated the feeling of it.) And carefully grasped at the glass. Not hard enough to break it by accident but enough to hopefully keep it from slipping from his bony fingers and onto the floor. (maybe even on to himself or somehow Togami.)

His hands filtered the cold sensation of the glass of water against his heated skin. The cold feeling just made the dryness of his throat all the more annoying. He quickly took gulp after greedy gulp, marveling at the sensation of the crystal water cooling his aching throat, and making the heat that was getting to unbearable for him to decrease a bit.

Despite the slight static in his ears, he still heard Togami's protest of 'Stop that, you'll end up choking on it or worse, dropping it.'

The albino didn't care through, the water was gone quickly. Trying to satisfy the need of a normal temperature and proper moisture in his throat for the man known as Nagito Komaeda to his classmates.

The shorter man handed the blond the empty glass before he slumped, almost bonelessly, against the pillows behind him. He was feeling a bit better and he wouldn't mind just having some silence at this moment. He shut his eyes and concentrated on his breathing.

Since he made no indication of wanting to talk, the other stayed quiet and silence settled between the two.

The albino's eyes snapped open yet again. Something Shining in them.

He hated this kind of silence.

The type that's tense, that shows there's something wrong going on while you want to pretend NOTHING is wrong.

But you can't. Not while the air is thick, making your chest feel heavy and makes your breathing shallow and difficult, making you want to smash your head against the nearest surface.

Togami wanted to say something.

"Wh-" The syllables bearly formed as he tried to croke out his question. Wanting to know WHY the man next to him was so tense, not the normal Togami tense, no this was different. The tension was making even Togami look uncomfortable, meaning it was something out of the norm. "W-ha…" he tried again and it just came out broken and pitiful, making him growl (It made his throat hurt) and his face scrunched up as he hit the bed with his good hand.

The blond seemed slightly alarmed as the albino tried to force himself to speak. "Oi, what do you think you're doing?" The blond asks, straightening his posture (yet the tension that he knew didn't belong there still remains, annoying him to his core. He was sure the other was annoyed with himself.) "Your throat is still dehydrated, you should stop before you damage your vocal cords or something of the sorts, knowing your luck." He slightly gritted his teeth.

Komaeda met him with a glare, and a slight stubbornness. He had just drank some water, yet he knew it probably wasn't enough. God did his throat still feel dry. A huff escaped his lips before he just hoped his face was portraying what he was meaning to ask. His eyes bore into the others, grey-green met a faded-blue, neither relenting in the eye contact. They were teammates, they were grown adults, they had a responsibility in this war yet their eyes were of two teenagers who were sworn 'rivals', trying to gain dominance in childish ways.

Silence engulfed the area, the air grew heavy but in a more likable way. One they have both gotten accustomed too. The contrast in eyes, the emotions they held. One so clear (Annoyance, stubbornness, anger, desperation and a want for a challenge) and another so guarded (Calm, cold, annoyed yet with a glint of something yet to be identified).

Neither relented. Neither would ever relent. Both too stubborn, and one too prideful, to do so.

Each and everyone of their stare downs ended in a draw, because someone always stopped it before either could consider the idea of backing down. Not like either would ever consider backing out when the other challenged them.

The albino's new found bullheaded-ness and the blonds prideful-habits always made them clash, headbutting, aggressively and rudely, every time they didn't agree on something, and always reluctantly agreeing on certain matters.(They do chastate each other in those moments they are forced to agree, they could never stop themselves from doing so.)

The albino was fine with this silence and this atmosphere, it was familiar and welcoming. One he had missed after being stuck acting like a psycho in the simulation.

The two salty tired asshole's kept glaring at each other, as they did so, they noticed things about the other.

The albino saw just how damn tired the other was. Visible eye bags, his eyes drupping a bit, his gaze dulled compared to their other glaring matches. His posture wasn't the 'Togami perfect' he had come to distinguish in the others' stance. His shoulders seemed tense, as if he never let his guard down. He bent a bit, as if trying to protect himself from an oncoming attack. Hands at ready for a fight, twitching slightly in anticipation.

Meanwhile, the other noticed just how fragile the other looked. Eyes sunken in, skin paler than before, eyes dulled and about ready to close and be deaf to the world around it. Skin was pulled taunt on bones, the lack of water and food making itself obvious. His posture screamed tired, frustrated and also oh so done with life. His good hand clinged to the sheets, as if worrying about something. Hair disheveled and looked greeze and dropping from their natural fluff.

"Reikara!" They heard a familiar voice call out. "I'm glad to see you're awake."

The albino responded to the name, his name. 

Because he was not Nagito Komaeda, he would never be him.

He was nothing but an impostor in his body. Owning his voice, his eyes, his face, his illness and memories, yet he was not him.

He would never be him.

Nagito Komaeda was dead.

Died when the tragedy hit.

His death used to break her.

His mind gone, brain dead and never to be used again.

Might as well be a vegetable.

Leaving behind a husk of his body to be possessed by a blank slate of a human.

A canvas that was painted differently, yet the image didn't fit in it.

He was not Komaeda Nagito.

He would never be him.

He owned his luck, his talent, his curse.

Yet he would never be him.

He was Reikara, a worker of the Future Foundation.

Reikara, using Nagito Komaeda's body.

Using his identity as he didn't have one.

Reikara, an impostor.

Reikara, a Liar.

Reikara, who was never meant to exist.

Reikara, who took this chance -A miracle by pure luck- to make something of himself.

Even if he would never fill the void left in Nagito's departure.

He was nothing, but a fraud.

"Hello Naegi." Reikara said with a small warm smile as he looked at the shorter male.

But, he could live with that.


End file.
